No Room in the Inn

A young man wandered down our block this morning. He appeared lost and cold. He had no hat and  no gloves. My husband, who was working in our shed, noticed him and asked what he was looking for.

As he talked to him, he learned that this young man had been kicked out of his house. He was looking for a friend's house but did not have the correct address. He had no place to go, no place to stay. No adequate winter clothing to keep him warm.

We see these kinds of situations all the time in the city. People with out resources, family or hope. Somehow, though, these situations seem much more desperate in the harshness of the winter- when most families are making plans to celebrate Christmas inside warm houses.

It is no small matter that our Lord and Savior came into the world under circumstances not unlike many of the poor dwelling in our cities. His earthly parents had no place to stay- they were turned away from several establishments before finding rest in a humble stable. Christ came into the world "...to bring good news to the poor...to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives..." (Isaiah 61:1).

Daren drove this young man to a nearby shelter where he could stay and get meal. Daren also gave him his hat and gloves and prayed for him before dropping him off. Yet, when Daren returned home, he could only shake his head and say,"So sad."

If this were the end of the story, there would be no hope- no reason for celebrating this season. But we know that Hope has come. Hope was born in a dirty stable- in poverty and obscurity. Hope has come so that men and women who wander down cold, dark streets can find warmth and light in our Savior.

We have hope that this young man Daren met on our street might find Christ. We have hope that a seed was planted in his heart.

May the words of O Little Town of Bethlehem encourage your hearts:

Yet in thy dark streets shineth

The everlasting Light,

The hopes and fears of all the years,

Are met in thee tonight.

Christ has, indeed, come. And he has come to the dark streets of the inner city so that the lost may have their hope fulfilled in them.

A Child's Prayer for the Poor

 "Dear God, thank you for this day. Help daddy to have a safe trip home and help Justus not to fall down the stairs again. And help us to love the poor. Amen."

I'll admit that Jackson's prayers can be all over the place, but that night I was truly touched by his prayer and also a bit baffled. I asked him where he had learned to pray for the poor. He replied, "That's how Daddy prays."

And then it hit me (as it has many times) how impressionable children are and that they truly do hear us when we speak (even if they don't always obey).

I'm hoping that his prayer for the poor becomes much more than simply repeating what he has heard his father pray. I pray he grows in to a man whose love for the downtrodden and the marginalized becomes deeply embedded in his heart. And not only that, I pray that he has a heart for empowering the poor- believing that God can do great things through them.

As believers, we are commanded by God to show compassion for the poor, the orphans, the alien and those in prison. In fact, there are over 50 passages on how we should treat the poor in the Old Testament alone!

Somehow, I think this message has gotten lost. We think that this is the job for social agencies or church charities. Our hearts have become hard. We look at the woman begging on the street and condemn her in our hearts. We blame her for her poor choices and we refuse to give her a couple dollars because we are certain she will spend it on "booze and drugs". We look at immigrants and demand that they be legal and shun them if they don't have all the right documentation. We angrily shout for their immediate deportation without a thought to how it might destroy a family. We judge and disparage the youth on the street with sagging pants- immediately putting him into the category of gang member or delinquent. We don't think of the leadership potential this young man might have if someone invested into him. We shake our heads in contempt at the single mom using government assistance to pay for her groceries. We think to ourselves, "If only she would get a job like the rest of us." We never considered that she may work but still not have enough for rent, childcare and groceries...

God calls all of us, regardless of our jobs, to show love and compassion for the marginalized. I think of my uncle who stood up for the minority workers at his job who were being mistreated by one of the foremen. He stood up for the rights of the alien, the oppressed. He even quit his job until the situation improved. In his own way, he fought injustice. And because a took a stand, he gave a voice to the voiceless.

It doesn't matter where you live, what kind of job you have or what your political affiliation is. If you are a believer you are called to live out this verse:

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice

    and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free

    and break every yoke?

7 

Is it not to share your food with the hungry

    and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—

when you see the naked, to clothe them,

    and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?" Isiah 58:6-7

But let us not just "feel sorry" for the broken and the marginalized. Let us seek to empower and raise up leaders among the urban poor so that through the church, we might expand the kingdom. I love this quote from our Christ the Victor church planting manual: "We will empower the least in the world's eyes to be great in the kingdom of God. We will prayerfully and aggressively seek the advance of God's kingdom, stopping at nothing to win the hardest, darkest and poorest places in our cities for Christ."

You and I have a duty to stand up for the rights of the oppressed, to show compassion for the downtrodden and to empower the "least of these". 

Like Jackson, let the poor find a place in our daily prayers.

A Wedding You Won't Read about in People Magazine

These days weddings have taken on a life of their own. One only has to open a People magazine and see all the extravagance of the latest Kardashian wedding: horse-drawn carriages, private jets, lavish gowns and jewelry-all totaling over 28 million dollars! As a missionary who regularly witnesses the devastation of poverty, I can’t help but think what good a fraction of that money could have done if given to a charity or non-profit organization…but I digress. Of course, we know celebrity weddings tend to be over-the-top affairs. However, the average American wedding is quickly following suit. According to some stats, the average American wedding costs between 20 and 29 THOUSAND dollars! Um…my wedding was nowhere near that!

All of this was lodged in the back of my mind as Daren and I made our way to the Hutchinson Correctional Facility to attend a very different kind of wedding. Daren was about to officiate his first ceremony in a prison.The groom is a TUMI (The Urban Ministry Institute) student with a genuine desire to grow in his knowledge of the Lord.The bride is a Christian woman who also loves the Lord and is raising a teenaged boy. She has recently started coming to some of our church events (she lives in Hutchinson). Daren was honored do their premarital counseling. Both are excited and eager to serve the Lord together.

As we and the wedding party (a few family members and the bride) made our way into the prison (which is quite a long and complicated process of removing shoes, jewelry and getting visitors' passes- imagine going through security at the airport), I couldn't help but notice the glowing bride. Despite all the hassles and restrictions of having your wedding in a prison (no digital cameras, have to change into your gown in the bathroom) she could barely contain her excitement. She was minutes away from marrying the love of her life.

We proceeded through several gates, the prison common area and up a narrow flight of stairs to a row of classrooms. We arrived at the classroom where the ceremony would take place. There was no air conditioning and the only items in the room were a few mismatched plastic chairs, a folding table and an old wooden podium. There were no decorated pews, no beautiful candelabras or organ music. The only photographer was me and all I had was one disposable camera. Despite all this, the wedding was beautiful because it was centered on the love of two people who have dedicated themselves to God and each other. The bride was glowing and the groom was elated. During the ceremony, both bride and groom read aloud the stories of how God had drawn them together and to Himself. Many tears were shed as they recalled the broken road that led them together and ultimately to Christ.

As Daren pronounced them husband and wife, the small gathering of family let out a cheer. Both the bride and groom had looks of utter joy on their faces even though they would soon be separated. They only had 30 minutes following the ceremony before the groom had to be back in his cell.

During the ceremony, I couldn’t help but compare this simple wedding to so many others I had witnessed. While it may have lacked some of the niceties we typically take for granted (special music, candles, wedding cake), it had something so much more valuable: a wedding centered on Christ. The focus of the ceremony was so clear. It wasn’t a photo op or something that would make a cute Facebook post- it was about two people committed to one another and Jesus Christ. To me, that’s a wedding I want to read about in People magazine.

Parenting Inadequacies

On one of my many trips to our neighborhood Walmart, I witnessed a heart-wrenching and somewhat confusing scene. A father was yelling for his daughter to get out of the car. A stream of expletives flew out of his mouth as he demanded his daughter get out of the car. A little girl emerged. She was dressed in her Sunday best- a frilly white dress. She couldn't have been more than nine or ten. The look on her face was a mix of fear and utter humiliation. The father (also dressed in "church" clothes) drug her into the store. I continued to watch- I was bewildered and horrified at his behavior. It all came together when he (very loudly) forced his daughter to confess to a customer service representative that she has stolen an item from the store. The other customers, who had stopped what they were doing to watch the scene unfold, seemed to shrug their shoulders and return to their shopping. One man remarked, "She won't do that again." 

In my spirit, I wrestled with the morality of what had just happened. It seemed as if the other customers did not share my sense of outrage- that somehow, the punishment had fit the crime. As many of you know, I minister in a culture different than my own. The inner city has a different set of rules and values when it comes to disciplining children. While I don't always agree with or condone some of these values, I try not to judge too quickly or too harshly. Many of the parents we minister to love their children but because of the lack of parental role models and an understanding of the unconditional love of Christ, they are unable to discipline in a way that shows both love and firmness. 

My heart was burdened for this little girl who had to endure such harsh discipline that seemed devoid of love and compassion. My first instinct was judgement and hatred toward a father who would use such abuse to "teach his daughter a lesson." Then, I felt a burden for him. Part of me realized that he was trying to be a good parent (although the means he used were wrong and inexcusable). He was operating under the philosophy of "scaring her straight"- that by using such extreme measures she would be sure not to repeat the offense. What kind of parental role models did he have growing up? Was that the way he was disciplined as a child?

Parenting is hard. Knowing how to discipline your child with love, consistency and the appropriate amount of firmness is extremely difficult and often, emotionally exhausting. As I continued my shopping, I began to think of my own inadequacies in parenting. While I have never verbally abused my children, how many times (in the privacy of my home) have I responded in anger and lost my temper? How many times has my level of impatience and frustration overruled the need to show understanding and forgiveness? 

As parents we are charged with a daunting task: "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). The difficulty lies in knowing how to train up your children. Most Christians know the basics: Teach the your kids to love God and obey His Word. But how do you demand obedience from your kid without crushing their spirit? How much does their unique personality play a part in the type of discipline you administer? These are questions that have plagued me in the joyful and yet overwhelming task of parenting. How much more daunting is the task to unbelievers- especially unbelievers who have grown up amid poverty and dysfunction? How does one know how to be a loving parent if he or she was deprived of one as a child?

As an inner city missionary my passion is for every man, woman and child to know the ultimate parent: Our Abba Father- full of perfect love and no inadequacies. God can mend the brokenness and touch the scarred and wounded places of the heart. He is a father to the fatherless. Not only that, He gives each one of us the grace we need to be godly parents- despite our inadequacies.

I pray that the little girl in the white dress knows her Heavenly Father loves her dearly. I pray that her earthly father knows he is loved, too, and that knowledge can overflow onto his daughter.

A Year in Review...2013

Okay, so it's mid February and a little late for summarizing the past year, but here goes!

Family Highlights

Jackson played his first team sport- soccer at the YMCA!

Justus turned ONE!

Daren assumed a new position: Regional Director of Ministry!

Tina competed in 3 races this year!

We welcomed new niece, Evie, to our family!

Ministry Highlights

We have a new president of World Impact- Efrem Smith! (After our former president resigned after admitting to an adulterous affair- that was tough).

We had another successful Women's Retreat and Christmas ladies' craft time!

Started (and almost completed) the CTV guidebook!

Started a new church plant: CTV Antioch!

Milestones for the Boys

Jackson learns to write his name!

Justus can identify major body parts! :)

Jackson learns to ride a bike with training wheels!

Justus learned to wave "bye bye", sign "more" and can pick up his toys when asked!

Jackson recites (by memory) Robert Frost's poem, Nothing Gold Can Stay!

Most-Played Songs on my Ipod

"Thrift Shop"- Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

"Tik Tok"- Ke$ha

"Country Girl"- Luke Bryan

"Eye of the Tiger"- Survivor

"Too Close"- Alex Care

"Blurred Lines"- Robin Thicke

"Mama's Broken Heart"- Miranda Lambert

"Jessie's Girl"- Rick Springfield

Most-Watched Netflix Shows

The Office

Parks and Recreation

Dexter

Breaking Bad

Downton Abbey

The Walking Dead

Sister Wives

What Not to Wear

Thought-Provoking Books

"The Good and Beautiful God", James Bryan Smith

"How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm: And Other Adventures in Parenting", Mei-Ling Hopgood

"Growing Through Stress", Kath Donovan

"Same Kind of Different as Me", Ron Hall & Denver Moore

"Game of Thrones", George R. R. Martin

"Bossy Pants", Tina Fey

I Survived...

Gall bladder surgery and the recovery that followed (and the months prior when I experienced un-diagnosed pain and discomfort).

A crazy year of ministry transition and change as our president resigns.

The stress of Daren being overworked in role meant for two people not one. 

Raising 2 boys with 2 distinct and different personalities while tying to maintain a household, and serve in a variety of ministry roles!

Thankful to have endured and enjoyed another year- thanks to the lavish grace of our Lord Jesus Christ!